Gay Dating

Many gay men say finding true love is difficult. While it is true that due to stigma and discrimination of gays (not to mention that only 10-15% of the population is estimated to be gay) there are fewer venues/opportunities to meet mister right. However, dating doesn't have to be so difficult. Often there are reasons, of which we have control over that make dating and finding your match difficult.

To start with don't look at dating and finding true love as difficult, look at it as a challenge instead. Take you time! Don't rush into love, it seldom ever happens that way. Love at first sight is a wonderful concept and it can happen, but remember it is very rare. A University of Bath (UK) and Match.com study revealed 'that true love grows with time' and this is particularly true for men [1]. Many men say that they found their true love when they were not looking for it.

Here are a few pointers that may help you in being more successful in the dating/love market. First and perhaps the most important step is marketing you. You need to look at the image that you project of yourself to others. You attract or turn off a person by the signals you send out. If you're the type of person who seldom smiles, then be aware of that and try giving a quick grin at those guys you find of interest. If you are uptight and stuffy, loosen up a bit. Changing your image takes practice and determination. Work at it, be aware of your behaviour around others.

Be as clear to yourself as you can about what qualities you like in a man. Make a list of those qualities. Go in depth with your list. Have more on that list than 'tall, dark and handsome'! Think about personality traits you are looking for in the ideal partner. This will make gay dating easier if you know what you want and you will not be wasting time. So, now you have a list and know what you want. What next? Go to the places where you'll find these types of guys. If you're looking for an intelligent guy who enjoys reading, then join a book club, and so on. You are much more likely to find that guy if you know what you want and you go looking in the right places for him.

Say you're too busy to join a book club (for example)? Then check out online gay dating sites. Many online gay dating sites offer free registration, photo and profile posting. When it comes to responding to someone you are interested in, many online dating sites do charge a small nominal fee. In today's world the old thoughts that someone going online for dating as desperate, is no longer true. Many men are meeting via the internet today and many develop lasting relationships. Safety is an issue when meeting guys online, however safety is an issue everywhere. Safety is a concern when you are at a bar or walking home. Online dating allows you to screen who you meet. Chat with someone for awhile to get to know them better. Never give your personal information, like home address or phone number until you've met them in person for coffee or dinner and get a sense of what this person is like. It all comes down to using your common sense. Use the head on top of your body, and not always the one between your legs!



Binational Couples

So you meet someone on a trip or via the internet and this person lives in another country. You can have a long distance relationship, but at some point you'll desire that one of you relocate so you can live together. Unfortunately, as a same-sex couple the laws of the nation you each live in my dictate where you both can or cannot live.  We are lucky in Canada, as this nation recognizes same-sex couples and allows same-sex immigration. However, Canada is one of only a small (but growing!) number of countries in the world that allows gay sponsorship of a foreign same-sex partner.

In Canada, you are required to sponsor your partner for three years. You have to show immigration that you can support your partner (and yourself) for three years or that your partner has resources to support himself.  Canada allows HIV positive individuals to immigrate as well. A medical exam is required of all immigrants and as long as a person can prove that they will not be a burden to the health system, they may be accepted.  With today's HIV medications most HIV positive people are accepted by Canadian Immigration.

Current same-sex immigration laws in other nations around the world prevent binational gay couples from living together or forces them to violate their countries laws and live illegally. If you fall in love with someone from say, Russia, or any nation that doesn't recognize same-sex relationships, that person will have to move to Canada, if you are to live together legally. Gay rights advocates are working hard to change the immigration laws in other countries, but sadly this may take years and might never happen in some countries.

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 [1] Dr. Jeff Gavin and Dr. Adrian J. Scott of the University of Bath in 2005.